What a weird one.
2020 I learned a thing or two about patience. I had great lulls and spouts of zero inspiration or creativity. I would go weeks without picking up a camera or logging into my website. It seemed like someone hit the pause button on everything.
Some days I would feel guilty. Some days I would stare at my gear on the shelf and blame myself for not being creative enough or questioning my artistic ability. I fooled myself into thinking I was honoring the craft by setting it aside but actually just felt discouraged watching my business start to crack. Sometimes the only business news would be that a wedding had been postponed, or postponed again, or cancelled altogether.
This year I was meant to travel to Scotland, France + Tahiti. I did not go abroad.
This year I was supposed to photograph twenty-one weddings. I got to shoot five.
There were some nice things that happened though.
A particularly nice and cloudy day [always rare for Los Angeles] I went for a drive. There were a few places I wanted to check out, mainly to be in nature and to feel the pulse of a quiet city. Most everything I wanted to see was closed so I drove up the Malibu coast until I got to the end at point Mugu. Worth the drive. I found joy in very small things like watching rain, making cocktails, hiking + scouting new locations, writing and shooting film again.
I did get to travel quite a bit even though it was exhausting and strange in 2020. I was on a couple of those flights that had less than 10 passengers. Prices back to Lubbock to visit my mom were historically low. I hadn’t been in five years and in 2020 I went four times.
A big highlight was a small road trip with Indy from Texas to our family summer home in Minnesota. It was exhausting staying socially distanced in hotels and eating meals takeaway or outdoors. The pandemic forced you to be always on your guard, sanitize your hands until they crack, and avoid most interactions with other people. We did see some incredible places though. I loved stopping at ghosttowns in Colorado, seeing the Continental Divide and the Stanley Hotel for the first time! My favorite stop was staying overnight at the KOA at the base of Devil’s Tower. We got a cabin for $50, including the pet fee. Was nice to be on the road and out of the house. I never get bored when I’m in the world, even if it’s a covid one.
The weddings I was able to photograph were beautiful and so different from the norm. My first was a fun backyard Wisconsin wedding. I did another airbnb one in Mill Valley with a champagne toast from their family over in the UK. Sprinkled in a few beautiful proposals and engagement sessions. One of my favorites was a Malibu Elopement with thoughtful Harry Potter details. I also was so lucky to shoot a wedding in Iowa and get something I had always dreamed about, a couple portrait in a cornfield. For a midwest girl, this was sheer joy!
Looking back, this year was full of lessons. Lessons I am still learning and understanding here in summer of 2021 as I am re-polishing this blog post. My goodness have I come a long way. The world has.
I hope you enjoy this look back.